Author of "after the beep"
Whatever you give a woman, she will make greater. If you give her sperm, she’ll give you a baby. If you give her a house, she’ll give you a home. If you give her groceries, she’ll give you a meal. If you give her a smile, she’ll give you her heart. She multiplies and enlarges [...]
A blonde is watching the news with her husband when the newscaster says “Two Brazilian men die in a skydiving accident.” The blonde starts crying to her husband, sobbing “That’s horrible!!! So many men dying that way!”
Confused, he says, “Yes dear, it is sad, but they were skydiving, and there is always that risk involved.”
After [...]
An elderly couple were 85 and 86 years old, and had been married for sixty years. Though they were far from rich, they managed to get by because they watched their pennies. Though not young, they were both in very good health, largely due to the wife’s insistence on healthy foods and exercise for the [...]
Jim forgot to get a Christmas gift for his wife and waited until after Christmas to buy something. He went to a store and asked the harried salesperson, busy with returns, for help.
“How about some perfume?” he asked the cosmetics clerk.
She showed him a bottle costing $100.
“That’s too much,” said Jim, so she returned with a smaller bottle for [...]
Sales of sex toys, pregnancy tests, maternity clothes, and baby equipment have soared in the past ninety days. Place your money wisely now. Invest in baby clothes corporations and legalized prostitution businesses. Or, buy some sex toys and just make the most of it.
Or, just shop at www.DubLi.com/8976493 :-)
There once was a czar named Rudolph. One day, he looked out the window to check the weather. He said to his wife, “Look my love. It’s raining.” She, being the obstinate type, responded,”I don’t think so, dear. I think it’s snowing.” But Rudolph knew better. So he said to his wife,”Let’s step outside and we’ll find [...]
IF YOU SEE A FAT MAN …
Who’s jolly and cute,
Wearing a beard and a red flannel suit,
And if he is chuckling and laughing away,
While flying around in a miniature sleigh,
With eight tiny reindeer to pull him along,
Then let’s face it … Your eggnog’s too strong!
Merry Christmas and a Happy 2OO9
What do you get if Santa goes down the chimney when a fire is lit?
A Crisp Cringle
What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus?
Clause-trophobic
What do elves learn in school?
The Elf-abet
What do you get if you cross Santa with a detective?
Santa Clues
What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
Frostbite
What [...]
Little Johnny wants a new bike for Christmas, his mom tells him to write to Santa. “Nah,” says Johnny, “Why talk to the monkey when you can talk to the organ grinder, I’ll go straight to the man upstairs.”
So Johnny writes a letter to Jesus, “Dear Jesus, give me a bike.”
When he shows it to [...]
Don't Miss Career Search Strategies 2.0
Career Search Strategies 2.0 provides job seekers with proven strategies for landing the ultimate career! Times are tough, and with the market being saturated with highly-qualified candidates, you have got to have an edge! 
Meltdown: I Need a Plan
Romance novel? Sort of. Depiction of corrupt corporations? Partly. Self-compiled journal of a foreign citizen who lands in one American predicament after predicament, works in astonishing environments, and has racy relationships from coast to coast?
Copyright © 2010 Kathleen Heck's Joke Blog All rights reserved.
Desk Mess Mirrored v1.1.1 theme from BuyNowShop.com.
amazon.com