Author of "after the beep"
The Wal-Mart greeter watched two blondes enter the store and stop at the soda machine in the front. He figures something is up as they are smiling and laughing.
One of them pulls coins from her purse and plugs them into the soda machine. She concentrates on the buttons, and finally pushes one. When the soda can [...]
During a recent password audit by our company, it was found that a blonde was using the following password:
MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofy
When asked why such a big password, she said she was told it had to be at least 8 characters.
A nice, calm and respectable lady went into the pharmacy, walked up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said, ”I would like to buy some cyanide.”
The pharmacist asked, ”Why in the world do you need cyanide?”
The lady replied, ”I need it to poison my husband.”
The pharmacist’s eyes got big and he explained, “Lord have [...]
How many dogs does it take to change a lightbulb?
GOLDEN RETRIEVER: The sun is shining, the day is young, we’ve got our whole lives ahead of us, and you’re inside worrying about a stupid burned out bulb?
BORDER COLLIE: Just one. And then I’ll replace any wiring that’s not up to code.
DACHSHUND: You know I can’t [...]
This year I’m putting mistletoe in my back pocket
… for obvious reasons.
Thinking she owed herself a little post holiday bling, a well-dressed and beautifully coiffed woman walks into Tiffany’s. She looks around, spots a very pretty diamond bracelet and walks over to inspect it. As she bends over to look more closely, she unexpectedly passes gas.
Quite embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone noticed her little ‘whoops’ [...]
“Dear Santa, this year, please send clothes for all those poor ladies in Uncle Fred’s computer.”
It is near the Christmas break of the school year. The students have turned in all their work and there is really nothing more to do. All the children are restless and the teacher decides to have an early dismissal.
Teacher: “Whoever answers the questions I ask first and correctly can leave early today.”
Little Johnny says [...]
Women often receive warnings about protecting themselves at the mall and in dark parking lots, etc. This is the first warning I have seen for men. I wanted to pass it on in case you haven’t heard about it. This will only become more commonplace as Christmas gets closer.
A ‘heads up’ for those men who [...]
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Meltdown: I Need a Plan
Romance novel? Sort of. Depiction of corrupt corporations? Partly. Self-compiled journal of a foreign citizen who lands in one American predicament after predicament, works in astonishing environments, and has racy relationships from coast to coast?
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