Author of "after the beep"
Three rednecks were working up on a cell phone tower; Cooter, Ronnie and Donnie. As they start their descent, Cooter slips, falls off the tower and is killed instantly. As the ambulance takes the body away, Ronnie says, “Someone should go and tell his wife..”
Donnie says, ‘OK, I’m pretty good at that sensitive stuff, I’ll [...]
Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to her mother, ‘Why is the bride dressed in white?”
The mother replied, ‘Because white is the color of happiness, and today is the happiest day of her life.’
The child thought about this for a moment then said, ‘So why is the groom wearing black?’
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Three [...]
After getting all of Pope Benedict’s luggage loaded into the limo (and he doesn’t travel light), the driver notices the Pope is still standing on the curb.
‘Excuse me, Your Holiness,’ says the driver, ‘Would you please take your seat so we can leave?’
‘Well, to tell you the truth,’ says the Pope, ‘they never let me drive [...]
The year is 1947.
Some of you will recall that on July 8, 1947, a little over 60 years ago, witnesses claim that an unidentified flying object (UFO) with five aliens aboard crashed onto a sheep and mule ranch just outside Roswell, New Mexico. This is a well known incident that many say has long been covered up [...]
It was entertainment night at the Senior Center. Claude the hypnotist exclaimed: ‘I’m here to put you all into a trance. I intend to hypnotize each and every member of the audience.’
The excitement was almost electric as Claude withdrew a beautiful antique pocket watch from his coat. The polished metal gleamed in the light.
Claude the hypnotist said: [...]
One day my mother was out, and my dad was in charge of me. I was maybe 2 1/2 years old. Someone had given me a little ‘tea set’ as a gift, and it was one of my favorite toys.
Daddy was in the living room engrossed in the evening news when I brought Daddy a [...]
Mrs. Donovan was walking down a Street in Dublin when she met up with Father Flaherty.
The Father said, ‘Top o’ the mornin’ to ye! Aren’t ye Mrs. Donovan and didn’t I marry ye and yer hoosband two years ago?’
She replied, ‘Aye, that ye did, Father.’
The Father asked, ‘And be there any wee little ones yet?’
She replied, ‘No, [...]
While attending a Marriage Weekend, Walter and his wife, Ann, listened to the instructor declare, ‘It is essential that husbands and wives know the things that are important to each other…”
He then addressed the men, ‘Can you name and describe your wife’s favorite flower?’
Walter leaned over, touched Ann’s arm gently, and whispered, ‘Gold Medal-All-Purpose, isn’t [...]
A distinguished young woman on a flight from Ireland asked the Priest beside her, ‘Father, may I ask a favor?’
‘Of course child. What may I do for you?’
‘Well, I bought an expensive woman’s electronic hair dryer for my Mother’s birthday that is unopened and well over the Customs limits, and I’m afraid they’ll confiscate it. Is there [...]
According to a news report, a certain private school was recently faced with a unique problem. A number of 12-year-old girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom. That was fine, but after they put on their lip stick, they would press their lips to the mirror leaving dozens [...]
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Meltdown: I Need a Plan
Romance novel? Sort of. Depiction of corrupt corporations? Partly. Self-compiled journal of a foreign citizen who lands in one American predicament after predicament, works in astonishing environments, and has racy relationships from coast to coast?
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