Recovery, Revenge, and Reality (thanks George)

Tags: anorexia, divorce, Meltdown

Happy Thanksgiving? (thanks Dennis)

A man in Phoenix calls his son in New York a few days before Thanksgiving and says, “I hate to ruin your day, but your mother are divorcing.  Forty-five years of misery is enough.”
“Pop, what are you talking about???!!!!!?”
“We can’t stand the sight of each other and I can’t stand talking about it any longer.  So [...]

Tags: divorce, Kindle, Meltdown, Thanksgiving

Curtain Rods (thanks Lilly)

On the first day, she sadly packed her belongings into boxes, crates and suitcases.
On the second day, she had the movers come and collect her things.
On the third day, she sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining-room table, by candle-light; she put on some soft background music, and feasted on a pound [...]

Tags: caviar, curtain rods, dead rodents, divorce, Meltdown, shrimp

Robin Williams Quotes (thanks Michael)

Ah, yes, divorce… from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man’s genitals through his wallet.
Cocaine is God’s way of saying you’re making too much money.
Comedy is acting out optimism.
Cricket is basically baseball on valium.
I’m sorry, if you were right, I’d agree with you.
If it’s the Psychic Network why do they need a phone [...]

Tags: Brooke Shields, cocaine, cricket, divorce, Leonid Brezhnev, pyschic, reality, Robin Williams, second amendment, Statue of Liberty

Polish Divorce (thanks Darla)

A Polish man moved to the United States and married an American girl.  Although his English was far from perfect, they got along well until one day he rushed into a lawyer’s office and asked him if he could arrange a divorce for him.
The lawyer said that getting a divorce would depend on the circumstances, and asked the [...]

Tags: carport, divorce, DVD, nail polish remover, Polish

Counseling Southern Style (thanks Lilly)

Earl and Buddy  are quietly sitting in a boat fishing, chewing and drinking beer, when suddenly Buddy says,  ‘I think I’m gonna divorce my wife.  She ain’t spoke to me in over 2 months.’
Earl spits, sips his beer and says, ‘Better think it over – women like that are hard to find.’
Find great stuff [...]

Tags: Buddy, divorce, fishing